We made it home! Praise the Lord! We had a very looong past 2 days. About 40 straight hours total of traveling and layovers. Béni did great! He was quite excited to ride on a plane and go to America with us. He had a few moments of sadness/impatience while waiting to board the planes. Before boarding the first plane in the Congo, the Lord blessed us to meet a young Congolese guy who spoke fluent English and Lingala. He was able to speak to Béni and translate a lot of Béni’s questions. Even more of a blessing, this same guy happened to be sitting on the same row across the aisle from us on the plane. Béni sat by him briefly carrying on a lengthy conversation and had a good time! The Lord truly ordained this meeting.
I have to share a humorous incident from the airport yesterday. Turns out Béni is terrified of automatic flushing toilets. He went in the restroom to do his business and during the process the toilet flushed on him. Apparently (according to Brady) he screamed and ran out (pants around his ankles) for all to see in the crowded airport restroom. He had to work up his courage to go back in and complete his task.
We were also grateful for our facilitator/translator while in the DRC. Our paperwork was done in record time! Even though we couldn’t get home earlier than scheduled, the time we had with Béni in country was a great opportunity to begin bonding and adjusting. Our facilitator left us this wonderful/amazing advice. He said “It is a beautiful thing what you are doing…adopting Béni. You are giving him a better life. But it will only be temporarily better if you do not teach him about the gospel and about Christ. That is all that matters.” How awesome is that!
We’ve been home about 15 hours and things are going smoothly. Béni slept peacefully in his bed (in a shared room with Manny) all night. He LOVES Manny and Manny loves him. He was a little sad at first when Manny headed off to school this morning. But he recovered. Shockingly, Béni also LOVES the dogs; which is an awesome surprise! Béni is fascinated with everything; particularly the car. The first thing he did this morning was walk out to the garage and mumble something while gently petting the car. Even now he just keeps walking out to the garage and touching the car. He keeps asking for the keys, thinking he’s just gonna hop in and drive somewhere! Sorry pal!
That’s all for now! I’m sure we’ll have more humorous stories soon!
Filling the Time
The countdown is on. Two more days and we will be US bound. Our time here has been a productive one of bonding and learning each other, combined with large blocks of boredom. The highlights of our days generally consist of going to the “market” to get bread / water, etc. I would describe it as a “bankrupt Sears”. It has a little of everything, but it’s all subpar.
We don’t feel nearly as comfortable venturing out on our own as we did in Ghana. Perhaps we just haven’t been here long enough to feel adventurous (thankfully). So we have mostly just stuck around the hotel.
We have developed our own little language with Béni consisting of an English-French-Lingala hybrid with a little bit of signing mixed in as well. So far it is going well. He has shown us a stubborn defiant side on occasion, yet he has also begun to submit to us regularly as his parents. He should learn pretty quickly by watching big brother Manny when we get home! We have also tried to begin learning the basics (i.e. ABC, 123) through games. He is beginning to take to it. He can count pretty well in French, and thus has taken quicker counting in English than to his ABC’s. He seems to have an extensive Lingala/French vocabulary; which I think speaks to his intelligence. And he finds it necessary to carry on fairly lengthy conversations with the hotel workers in their language. They get a real kick out of what he says… Lord only knows what he is really saying about us.
Once he learns to focus his attention, I believe he will make remarkable strides in schooling. As with the addition of any child, it will be challenging at times. The language barrier certainly adds a different dynamic. Early on we simply couldn’t explain our reasoning behind saying “no” to something. Instead, it just sounded like “no” as a permanent response – which usually displeased him. We’ve thankfully gotten better at communicating with the help of some online resources and nice locals who translate for us. At any rate, we are adapting and learning. We are ready, and thankful to God for choosing to bring Béni into our life as our son. He certainly adds an entertaining element and should provide us with humorous stories for quite some time!
We don’t feel nearly as comfortable venturing out on our own as we did in Ghana. Perhaps we just haven’t been here long enough to feel adventurous (thankfully). So we have mostly just stuck around the hotel.
We have developed our own little language with Béni consisting of an English-French-Lingala hybrid with a little bit of signing mixed in as well. So far it is going well. He has shown us a stubborn defiant side on occasion, yet he has also begun to submit to us regularly as his parents. He should learn pretty quickly by watching big brother Manny when we get home! We have also tried to begin learning the basics (i.e. ABC, 123) through games. He is beginning to take to it. He can count pretty well in French, and thus has taken quicker counting in English than to his ABC’s. He seems to have an extensive Lingala/French vocabulary; which I think speaks to his intelligence. And he finds it necessary to carry on fairly lengthy conversations with the hotel workers in their language. They get a real kick out of what he says… Lord only knows what he is really saying about us.
Once he learns to focus his attention, I believe he will make remarkable strides in schooling. As with the addition of any child, it will be challenging at times. The language barrier certainly adds a different dynamic. Early on we simply couldn’t explain our reasoning behind saying “no” to something. Instead, it just sounded like “no” as a permanent response – which usually displeased him. We’ve thankfully gotten better at communicating with the help of some online resources and nice locals who translate for us. At any rate, we are adapting and learning. We are ready, and thankful to God for choosing to bring Béni into our life as our son. He certainly adds an entertaining element and should provide us with humorous stories for quite some time!
The Call to Adopt
What brings us to adoption? The answers can vary greatly: for some it’s humanitarian desires, for others it may be infertility, or even fulfilling a lifelong goal. Of the 15+ families we’ve met throughout both our adoption of Béni and Manny, more often than not the common thread that ties us altogether is God. God has a heart for orphans; therefore as followers of him, we have a heart for orphans. Our basis for adoption starts with this.
Adoption had been a topic of conversation in our marriage from the beginning. I (Brady) have two brothers that my father adopted domestically before I was born. However, our decision to adopt didn’t really come into fruition until we began to deepen our walk with Christ and understand the biblical implications of adoption.
God used our pastor at Temple Baptist Church, Tony Merida, and our neighbors Adam and Jill Hodge to teach us about our own adoption in Christ. It was only through them that we began to see the parallels of earthly adoption and the adoption that we receive in Christ.
The decision to adopt was placed on my heart by Christ. I didn’t wake up one day and decide say “Honey, you know what’s missing in my life? We need an African kid who doesn’t know the alphabet, eats all our food, costs us money, and doesn’t speak English.” No. I didn’t say that. But I love Christ; and I see his calling on my life. When I stand before Christ at the end of my days, my biggest regret will be that I didn’t do more for Him; that I was selfish. My biggest regret will be that I didn’t pour into the lives of more people.
I realize that not all families are called to adopt. Not all Christians are called to preach, or teach or be missionaries or whatever. However, it is my desire and our sincere prayer that God will use us to influence others the same way he used others to influence us.
Adoption had been a topic of conversation in our marriage from the beginning. I (Brady) have two brothers that my father adopted domestically before I was born. However, our decision to adopt didn’t really come into fruition until we began to deepen our walk with Christ and understand the biblical implications of adoption.
God used our pastor at Temple Baptist Church, Tony Merida, and our neighbors Adam and Jill Hodge to teach us about our own adoption in Christ. It was only through them that we began to see the parallels of earthly adoption and the adoption that we receive in Christ.
The decision to adopt was placed on my heart by Christ. I didn’t wake up one day and decide say “Honey, you know what’s missing in my life? We need an African kid who doesn’t know the alphabet, eats all our food, costs us money, and doesn’t speak English.” No. I didn’t say that. But I love Christ; and I see his calling on my life. When I stand before Christ at the end of my days, my biggest regret will be that I didn’t do more for Him; that I was selfish. My biggest regret will be that I didn’t pour into the lives of more people.
I realize that not all families are called to adopt. Not all Christians are called to preach, or teach or be missionaries or whatever. However, it is my desire and our sincere prayer that God will use us to influence others the same way he used others to influence us.
What we're learning about Béni
In the 48 hours since the last post we have continued the surprisingly easy process of settling in as a family. Béni continues to be a fun and laid back little guy. He truly does remind me of an “Ewok” character from the Star Wars movies. He just mumbles and waddles around trying to eat things and pick up things. He is pretty comical really. His big interest right now is cars. Every time he sees a car or motorcycle he goes “oooooo” and looks perplexed… like a dang Ewok would! He has also watched the movie “Cars” about 3 times.
It turns out that he and Manny have some unique similarities. The only time we have seen tears from Béni is in regards to school work… just like Manny. Béni goes into “shutdown mode” is when he is hungry… just like Manny. Manny used to get this ‘limp noodle’/ blank stare/ exhaustion / sadness look when he wanted food… Béni does the exact same thing! It’s really obvious when he wants something because he becomes completely lethargic (I’m guessing that sleep was their way of dealing with a lack of food throughout life). Unfortunately, it seems like all he wants to do is eat… just like Manny! I don’t think we will ever be able to leave those two at home alone together– they will eat everything! I have a feeling that Béni is gonna put in a dent in the China Buffet… just like Manny.
I also get a feeling that Christen is going to love life at home with Béni. He is a fast learner, loves helping, and will gladly do school work in return for raisins. Christen gives him as many raisins as he can count. He is up to 187. Kidding, but he is getting the hang of it quickly.
On a different note, we have received our “exit letter” from immigration that allows us to leave the country. So we are free to go! Unfortunately, our flight isn’t until Sunday, and it’s unlikely that we can move up due to the last minute change costs and the flight that the flights are generally pretty full. We are looking into the possibility though. Either way, it’s nice to know we won’t be delayed anymore than we originally thought and may get out of here sooner than expected.
That’s all for now! Love you all!
Brady
It turns out that he and Manny have some unique similarities. The only time we have seen tears from Béni is in regards to school work… just like Manny. Béni goes into “shutdown mode” is when he is hungry… just like Manny. Manny used to get this ‘limp noodle’/ blank stare/ exhaustion / sadness look when he wanted food… Béni does the exact same thing! It’s really obvious when he wants something because he becomes completely lethargic (I’m guessing that sleep was their way of dealing with a lack of food throughout life). Unfortunately, it seems like all he wants to do is eat… just like Manny! I don’t think we will ever be able to leave those two at home alone together– they will eat everything! I have a feeling that Béni is gonna put in a dent in the China Buffet… just like Manny.
I also get a feeling that Christen is going to love life at home with Béni. He is a fast learner, loves helping, and will gladly do school work in return for raisins. Christen gives him as many raisins as he can count. He is up to 187. Kidding, but he is getting the hang of it quickly.
On a different note, we have received our “exit letter” from immigration that allows us to leave the country. So we are free to go! Unfortunately, our flight isn’t until Sunday, and it’s unlikely that we can move up due to the last minute change costs and the flight that the flights are generally pretty full. We are looking into the possibility though. Either way, it’s nice to know we won’t be delayed anymore than we originally thought and may get out of here sooner than expected.
That’s all for now! Love you all!
Brady
First Impressions with Béni
Yesterday was an eventful day. We moved to the new hotel in the morning. In doing so, we gave up TV, and hot water . But it's good enough and it’s nice to have other families with kids for Béni to play with.
Our initial meeting with Béni was really sweet! I posted a video on Facebook if you are interested. We waited around most of the day to have Béni brought to us. Finally, around 4:00 we all met. It was really awesome!! He ran straight for me (Brady) and gave me a huge hug! It was priceless. I realize this is a completely inadequate summation of the moment.
We are now roughly 24 hours into life with Béni and I'm already really impressed. I would describe Béni as fairly serious, and very intelligent... I’d actually say he has a demeanor that reminds me of Christen as a child. He is extremely alert, attentive, and inquisitive. Béni is a good communicator with others (although we obviously don’t have a clue what he is saying) and he likes to do things on his own. He is very patient with us and hasn’t gotten frustrated at all with our lack of understanding. He also seems very accepting of us as parents. He obeys well, calls us Momma and Papa (trying to convert that into Mommy and Daddy), and already looks to us for basic instruction. It’s a real blessing how quickly he has taken to us!
He is smaller than I would have guessed. However, he has a really swollen stomach - but I'm sure that will all get worked out with some medicine. However, he doesn't seem sick. No sniffles, no upset tummy, nothing. He even turned down some food tonight after he got full at dinner. Béni even held his fork correctly and had pretty decent table etiquette.
Last night we began showing Béni pictures of the family and having him say everyone's name as we point to them. He catches on quick and he has the cutest little voice/ accent! He is getting good at identifying Manny in our pictures! Christen is already working with him on identifying shapes in a coloring book and counting in English. He gets it. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that she will have him speaking decent English in less than a month!
Oh, and he’s pretty good at soccer… dare I say, he has better ball technique than Manny did when we met him. I think we have a playa! That’s all for the first 24 hours! I’ll keep you posted!
Our initial meeting with Béni was really sweet! I posted a video on Facebook if you are interested. We waited around most of the day to have Béni brought to us. Finally, around 4:00 we all met. It was really awesome!! He ran straight for me (Brady) and gave me a huge hug! It was priceless. I realize this is a completely inadequate summation of the moment.
We are now roughly 24 hours into life with Béni and I'm already really impressed. I would describe Béni as fairly serious, and very intelligent... I’d actually say he has a demeanor that reminds me of Christen as a child. He is extremely alert, attentive, and inquisitive. Béni is a good communicator with others (although we obviously don’t have a clue what he is saying) and he likes to do things on his own. He is very patient with us and hasn’t gotten frustrated at all with our lack of understanding. He also seems very accepting of us as parents. He obeys well, calls us Momma and Papa (trying to convert that into Mommy and Daddy), and already looks to us for basic instruction. It’s a real blessing how quickly he has taken to us!
He is smaller than I would have guessed. However, he has a really swollen stomach - but I'm sure that will all get worked out with some medicine. However, he doesn't seem sick. No sniffles, no upset tummy, nothing. He even turned down some food tonight after he got full at dinner. Béni even held his fork correctly and had pretty decent table etiquette.
Last night we began showing Béni pictures of the family and having him say everyone's name as we point to them. He catches on quick and he has the cutest little voice/ accent! He is getting good at identifying Manny in our pictures! Christen is already working with him on identifying shapes in a coloring book and counting in English. He gets it. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that she will have him speaking decent English in less than a month!
Oh, and he’s pretty good at soccer… dare I say, he has better ball technique than Manny did when we met him. I think we have a playa! That’s all for the first 24 hours! I’ll keep you posted!
The Resurrection of a Blog
Welcome back! It’s been 2 years, and we’re in Africa again!
After 24 hours of travel we have arrived in Kinshasa, DRC to complete the adoption of our son Béni. The travel has been a little bumpy, beginning with a layover in DC where we were awakened several times at the hotel by fire alarms, and 1:30am roof pressure washings (cause who doesn’t clean the roof at that hour?). After missing the first shuttle to the airport, we caught a second by a bus driver nice enough to take us even though he wasn’t assigned to leave for another 30 minutes. Upon arrival to the airport, I (christen) began to feel a little sick- I believe because I took my malaria meds on and empty stomach. Nevertheless, I got some food in me and began to feel better. Also, we met several nice people in the airport, who were either adopting or going for humanitarian work.
When we finally did arrive in Kinshasa, we could not find our driver (this happened to us once before in Ghana- on that occasion we waited 3 hours for his arrival!). Thankfully, we did not have to wait 3 hours today. Although, there was confusion as to whether or not this particular man was our driver. He spoke French. We do not. Hence the problem. Unfortunately, my French studies have done little thus far to help. Although, we can recognize some words, it is not enough to carry on a conversation. He was convinced we were the family he was picking up, because… well, we were the only white couple in the airport. We, however, needed proof before going with him (which was supposed to be given to us in the form of our name on a sign; which he didn’t have). We insisted that the man tell us the last name of the family he was sent to pick up. Finally after some much discussion he called someone and said something that sounded like Raanes. So we went with him.
Turns out, he was the right guy, but we are not at the right hotel. We were told that the place we are supposed to stay may be full for the night, but that we can go there tomorrow. Nevertheless, our current hotel is relatively nice. TV (although nothing good is on), AC (leaks- but at least we got it!), Hot water (with a mind of its own). Also, there is one couple with another agency staying here- which is always nice to see and speak with other Americans, when you are abroad. After clearing up with our agency which hotel we had been brought to, Dido our facilitator/driver/translator (yes-English!!) met us and had a short meeting to fill us in on all the details. We are under the impression that Béni will be brought to the hotel to us tomorrow. We were told Béni was upset on Tuesday when the other families arrived and their children went to stay with them at the hotel. So the anticipation is built, and it seems both we and he are ready the meet each other :)
A Great Holiday
Hi all!
Sorry for the delay between post; I've been having computer problems! At any rate, here are a few pictures from our Christmas! I was great time and special having our little guy with us this year! All the gifts, people, and food was a welcome addition for Manny!
Sorry for the delay between post; I've been having computer problems! At any rate, here are a few pictures from our Christmas! I was great time and special having our little guy with us this year! All the gifts, people, and food was a welcome addition for Manny!
A Celebration of Materialsim
Last week I did something that I never do. I watched cable tv. Not only that, I watched Oprah. I don't like Oprah or most anything she stands for. However, after being cooped up in the house for a week sick with the flu (I can just hear everyone saying I told you so now because I refused to take my flu shot), I was bored! This particular show that I tuned into was the annual favorite things extravaganza, in which audience members receive thousands of dollars worth of products. It was disturbing to see how these grown adults would fall to the ground crying, screaming, convulsing and the like over receiving a nikon camera, a polo sweater, and other name brand material goods. During the show it was evident how much (especially this time of year) we idolize and celebrate materialism in this country. Materialism has become our God.
In David's Platts book Radical, he talks about Christian's blind spots-past and present. The following is an excerpt from his book:
"We all have blind spots-areas of our lives that need to be uncovered so we can see correctly and adjust our lives accordingly....I can think of at least one glaring blind spot in American Christian history. Slavery. How could Christians who suppossedly believed the gospel so easily rationalize the enslavement of other human beings?
Not long ago God began uncovering a blind spot in my life. An area of disobedience. A reality in God's word I pretended did not exist. More aptly put I had lived as if it did not exist. But God brought me to a place a confession...Today more than a billion people in the world live and die in desperate poverty. They attempt to survive on less than a dollar per day. Close to two billion others live on less that two dollars . That's nearly half of the world struggling today to find food, water and shelter with the same amount of money I spend on french fries for lunch...Is Materialism a blind spot in American Christianity today?"
This is certainly a question to ponder in the midst of the Christmas season. As Christians, who do we uphold more this time of year- Jesus or Santa? As a new parent I don't want Manny to focus on Santa, presents, and materialism (oh my!) over Jesus as the all important reason for the season. In light of this, we won't be playing the Santa game. Pastor Mark Driscoll shares similar beliefs which he wrote about in the Washington Post. I have posted that article below.
What We Tell Our Kids About Santa
'Tis the season . . . for parents to decide if they will tell the truth about Santa.
When it comes to cultural issues like Santa, Christians have three options: (1) we can reject it, (2) we can receive it, or (3) we can redeem it.
Since Santa is so pervasive in our culture, it is nearly impossible to simply reject Santa as part of our annual cultural landscape. Still, as parents we don't feel we can simply receive the entire story of Santa because there is a lot of myth built on top of a true story.
Redeeming Santa
So, as the parents of five children, Grace and I have taken the third position to redeem Santa. We tell our kids that he was a real person who did live a long time ago. We also explain how people dress up as Santa and pretend to be him for fun, kind of like how young children like to dress up as pirates, princesses, superheroes, and a host of other people, real and imaginary. We explain how, in addition to the actual story of Santa, a lot of other stories have been added (e.g., flying reindeer, living in the North Pole, delivering presents to every child in one night) so that Santa is a combination of true and make-believe stories.
We do not, however, demonize Santa. Dressing up, having fun, and using the imagination God gave can be an act of holy worship and is something that, frankly, a lot of adults need to learn from children.
What we are concerned about, though, is lying to our children. We teach them that they can always trust us because we will tell them the truth and not lie to them. Conversely, we ask that they be honest with us and never lie. Since we also teach our children that Jesus is a real person who did perform real miracles, our fear is that if we teach them fanciful, make-believe stories as truth, it could erode confidence in our truthfulness where it really matters. So, we distinguish between lies, secrets, surprises, and pretend for our kids. We ask them not to tell lies or keep secrets, but do teach them that some surprises (like gift-giving) and pretending (like dressing up) can be fun and should be encouraged. We tell them the truth and encourage them to have fun watching Christmas shows on television and even sitting on Santa's lap for a holiday photo if they so desire. For parents of younger children wanting them to learn the real story of Santa Claus the Veggie Tales movie Saint Nicholas is a good choice.
The Truth about Santa Claus
The larger-than-life myths surrounding Santa Claus actually emanate from the very real person of Saint Nicholas. It is difficult to know the exact details of his life with certainty, as the ancient records are sparse, but the various pieces can be put together as a mosaic of his life.
A Gift-Giver
Nicholas was born in the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. He was born into an affluent family, but his parents died tragically when he was quite young. His parents had raised him to be a devout Christian, which led him to spend his great inheritance on helping the poor, especially children. He was known to frequently give gifts to children, sometimes even hanging socks filled with treats and presents.
Perhaps his most famous act of kindness was helping three sisters. Because their family was too poor to pay for their wedding dowry, three young Christian women were facing a life of prostitution until Nicholas paid their dowry, thereby saving them from a horrible life of sexual slavery.
A Bishop and Saint
Nicholas grew to be a well-loved Christian leader and was eventually voted the Bishop of Myra, a port city that the apostle Paul had previously visited (Acts 27:5-6). Nicholas reportedly also traveled to the legendary Council of Nicaea, where he helped defend the deity of Jesus Christ in A.D. 325.
Following his death on December 6, 343, he was canonized as a saint. The anniversary of his death became the St. Nicholas holiday when gifts were given in his memory. He remained a very popular saint among Catholic and Orthodox Christians, with some two thousand churches named after him. The holiday in his honor eventually merged with Christmas, since they were celebrated within weeks of one another.
Misnomer
During the Reformation, however, Nicholas fell out of favor with Protestants, who did not approve of canonizing certain people as saints and venerating them with holidays. His holiday was not celebrated in any Protestant country except Holland, where his legend as Sinterklass lived on. In Germany, Martin Luther replaced him with the Christ child as the object of holiday celebration, or, in German, Christkindl. Over time, the celebration of the Christ child was simply pronounced Kris Kringle and oddly became just another name for Santa Claus.
Folklore
The legends about Santa Claus are most likely a compilation of other folklore. For example, there was a myth in Nicholas' day that a demon was entering people's homes to terrorize children and that Nicholas cast it out of a home. This myth may explain why it was eventually believed that he came down people's chimneys.
Also, there was a Siberian myth (near the North Pole) that a holy man, or shaman, entered people's homes through their chimneys to leave them mushrooms as gifts. According to the legend, he would hang them in front of the fire to dry. Reindeer would reportedly eat them and become intoxicated. This may have started the myth that the reindeer could fly, as it was believed that the shaman could also fly. This myth may have merged with the Santa Claus myth, and if so, explains him traveling from the North Pole to slide down chimneys and leave presents on fireplace mantles before flying away with reindeer.
These stories of Santa Claus were first brought to America by Dutch immigrants. In the early twentieth century, stores began having Santa Claus present for children during the Christmas season. Children also began sending letters to the North Pole as the legends surrounding an otherwise simple Christian man grew.
In sum, Saint Nick was a wonderful man who loved and served Jesus faithfully. So, we gladly include him in our Christmas traditions to remind us of what it looks like for someone to live a life of devotion to Jesus as God. Our kids thank us for being both honest and fun, which we think is what Jesus wants.
In David's Platts book Radical, he talks about Christian's blind spots-past and present. The following is an excerpt from his book:
"We all have blind spots-areas of our lives that need to be uncovered so we can see correctly and adjust our lives accordingly....I can think of at least one glaring blind spot in American Christian history. Slavery. How could Christians who suppossedly believed the gospel so easily rationalize the enslavement of other human beings?
Not long ago God began uncovering a blind spot in my life. An area of disobedience. A reality in God's word I pretended did not exist. More aptly put I had lived as if it did not exist. But God brought me to a place a confession...Today more than a billion people in the world live and die in desperate poverty. They attempt to survive on less than a dollar per day. Close to two billion others live on less that two dollars . That's nearly half of the world struggling today to find food, water and shelter with the same amount of money I spend on french fries for lunch...Is Materialism a blind spot in American Christianity today?"
This is certainly a question to ponder in the midst of the Christmas season. As Christians, who do we uphold more this time of year- Jesus or Santa? As a new parent I don't want Manny to focus on Santa, presents, and materialism (oh my!) over Jesus as the all important reason for the season. In light of this, we won't be playing the Santa game. Pastor Mark Driscoll shares similar beliefs which he wrote about in the Washington Post. I have posted that article below.
What We Tell Our Kids About Santa
'Tis the season . . . for parents to decide if they will tell the truth about Santa.
When it comes to cultural issues like Santa, Christians have three options: (1) we can reject it, (2) we can receive it, or (3) we can redeem it.
Since Santa is so pervasive in our culture, it is nearly impossible to simply reject Santa as part of our annual cultural landscape. Still, as parents we don't feel we can simply receive the entire story of Santa because there is a lot of myth built on top of a true story.
Redeeming Santa
So, as the parents of five children, Grace and I have taken the third position to redeem Santa. We tell our kids that he was a real person who did live a long time ago. We also explain how people dress up as Santa and pretend to be him for fun, kind of like how young children like to dress up as pirates, princesses, superheroes, and a host of other people, real and imaginary. We explain how, in addition to the actual story of Santa, a lot of other stories have been added (e.g., flying reindeer, living in the North Pole, delivering presents to every child in one night) so that Santa is a combination of true and make-believe stories.
We do not, however, demonize Santa. Dressing up, having fun, and using the imagination God gave can be an act of holy worship and is something that, frankly, a lot of adults need to learn from children.
What we are concerned about, though, is lying to our children. We teach them that they can always trust us because we will tell them the truth and not lie to them. Conversely, we ask that they be honest with us and never lie. Since we also teach our children that Jesus is a real person who did perform real miracles, our fear is that if we teach them fanciful, make-believe stories as truth, it could erode confidence in our truthfulness where it really matters. So, we distinguish between lies, secrets, surprises, and pretend for our kids. We ask them not to tell lies or keep secrets, but do teach them that some surprises (like gift-giving) and pretending (like dressing up) can be fun and should be encouraged. We tell them the truth and encourage them to have fun watching Christmas shows on television and even sitting on Santa's lap for a holiday photo if they so desire. For parents of younger children wanting them to learn the real story of Santa Claus the Veggie Tales movie Saint Nicholas is a good choice.
The Truth about Santa Claus
The larger-than-life myths surrounding Santa Claus actually emanate from the very real person of Saint Nicholas. It is difficult to know the exact details of his life with certainty, as the ancient records are sparse, but the various pieces can be put together as a mosaic of his life.
A Gift-Giver
Nicholas was born in the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. He was born into an affluent family, but his parents died tragically when he was quite young. His parents had raised him to be a devout Christian, which led him to spend his great inheritance on helping the poor, especially children. He was known to frequently give gifts to children, sometimes even hanging socks filled with treats and presents.
Perhaps his most famous act of kindness was helping three sisters. Because their family was too poor to pay for their wedding dowry, three young Christian women were facing a life of prostitution until Nicholas paid their dowry, thereby saving them from a horrible life of sexual slavery.
A Bishop and Saint
Nicholas grew to be a well-loved Christian leader and was eventually voted the Bishop of Myra, a port city that the apostle Paul had previously visited (Acts 27:5-6). Nicholas reportedly also traveled to the legendary Council of Nicaea, where he helped defend the deity of Jesus Christ in A.D. 325.
Following his death on December 6, 343, he was canonized as a saint. The anniversary of his death became the St. Nicholas holiday when gifts were given in his memory. He remained a very popular saint among Catholic and Orthodox Christians, with some two thousand churches named after him. The holiday in his honor eventually merged with Christmas, since they were celebrated within weeks of one another.
Misnomer
During the Reformation, however, Nicholas fell out of favor with Protestants, who did not approve of canonizing certain people as saints and venerating them with holidays. His holiday was not celebrated in any Protestant country except Holland, where his legend as Sinterklass lived on. In Germany, Martin Luther replaced him with the Christ child as the object of holiday celebration, or, in German, Christkindl. Over time, the celebration of the Christ child was simply pronounced Kris Kringle and oddly became just another name for Santa Claus.
Folklore
The legends about Santa Claus are most likely a compilation of other folklore. For example, there was a myth in Nicholas' day that a demon was entering people's homes to terrorize children and that Nicholas cast it out of a home. This myth may explain why it was eventually believed that he came down people's chimneys.
Also, there was a Siberian myth (near the North Pole) that a holy man, or shaman, entered people's homes through their chimneys to leave them mushrooms as gifts. According to the legend, he would hang them in front of the fire to dry. Reindeer would reportedly eat them and become intoxicated. This may have started the myth that the reindeer could fly, as it was believed that the shaman could also fly. This myth may have merged with the Santa Claus myth, and if so, explains him traveling from the North Pole to slide down chimneys and leave presents on fireplace mantles before flying away with reindeer.
These stories of Santa Claus were first brought to America by Dutch immigrants. In the early twentieth century, stores began having Santa Claus present for children during the Christmas season. Children also began sending letters to the North Pole as the legends surrounding an otherwise simple Christian man grew.
In sum, Saint Nick was a wonderful man who loved and served Jesus faithfully. So, we gladly include him in our Christmas traditions to remind us of what it looks like for someone to live a life of devotion to Jesus as God. Our kids thank us for being both honest and fun, which we think is what Jesus wants.
Learning Patience and the Gospel
A little update of what's been going on lately. A couple weeks ago, Manny had his first visit to the dentist. Everything checked out great, and he did really well. Prior to the trip I asked him if he had ever been to one in Ghana and he proceeded to describe an event where someone came to his school and pulled all his "bad" teeth. It didn't sound like a particularly fun memory; so I was glad that his experience in America was much better! The rest of that day wasn't exactly fun, as we went to have more blood drawn and his second round of vaccinations:( As soon as Manny saw the health department his mood changed to quite solemn. But we've got all that behind us now!
As Christmas nears our first semester of homeschooling is drawing to a close. I have been really pleased with his progress and impressed with his ability to absorb so much. However, I now have a totally different respect for others who homeschool and teachers! One word I have familiarized myself with is PATIENCE! It is really tough at times. Worth it, but tough.
I also have to mention a book (Helping Children to Understand the Gospel) that we have been using to teach Manny about the Gospel. He has really taken a liking to it, and it does the best job of any book I've seen for children. He is pretty capable of articulating the message of the Gospel now! I highly recommend it!
Happy Holidays!
The Holiday season is here again and we are enjoying teaching and sharing with Manny all the traditions. Manny especially enjoyed the Thanksgiving feast. He has talked about the "delicious food" for days now!
Thanksgiving morning we watched some of the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. The last float in the parade is always Santa Claus. After countless discussions, Manny still can't seem to keep straight the difference between Santa and Satan.
(Manny observes the parade as Santa appears.)
Manny: Who is this?
Brady: That's Santa.
Manny: (gasp).... Santa?
Christen: Santa not Satan.
Manny: Huh?
Celebrating Thanksgiving Sunday for lunch
After another lengthy explanation I think we finally have this Santa/Satan debacle all figured out.
Thanksgiving morning we watched some of the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. The last float in the parade is always Santa Claus. After countless discussions, Manny still can't seem to keep straight the difference between Santa and Satan.
(Manny observes the parade as Santa appears.)
Manny: Who is this?
Brady: That's Santa.
Manny: (gasp).... Santa?
Christen: Santa not Satan.
Manny: Huh?
Celebrating Thanksgiving Sunday for lunch
After another lengthy explanation I think we finally have this Santa/Satan debacle all figured out.
We also talked about what we were thankful for on Thanksgiving. I couldn't have been more proud when Manny happily stated (immediately & without prompting I might add) that he was thankful "that Jesus died for our sins". So sweet:)
Manny helping decorate the tree. He was confused why we put the tree inside instead of outside!
Thanksgiving day!
Thanksgiving day!
Reading...for fun?
I recently made a trip to books-a-million to purchase Manny some reading books, "for fun". At first, Manny was confused as to why anybody would try to read instead of looking at the pictures to get the story. After some coercion he gave it a try. I am happy to report that Mr. Manny has now reached the level of reading books to himself for fun! We are so proud of our little guy and the progress he's made!I know what you all are wondering...and yes, reading is definitely more fun through orange tented lenses! Plus, it just looks awesome!
Holiday Giving
If you have been shopping anywhere lately you've noticed the store's are once again clad with decor reminding us all that Christmas is just a little over a month away. I usually wait until the week of Christmas, to get all my shopping done, but if that cinnamon scented potpourri in all the stores is exciting you into a shopping frenzy, then I have a few ideas for you this holiday.
- Raven and Lily- I love this store. Their goal is to employ impoverished women in developing countries to create beautiful products from scrap material. This company is not only altruistic, but its roots are Christian. R+L's blog posted this story of the employees response to the businesses success- "the women cried with joy when they were paid from our orders. They had never felt the value and dignity that comes from earning enough to provide for their needs. They could now afford to send their child to school, buy enough food, purchase things they never thoughts attainable… It was a turning point for me to be able to know that this partnership really is making a tangible difference." Click here to visit Raven + Lily's website.
- Toms- I think just about everyone has now heard of this shoe company and their one-for-one philosophy; if you haven't you should look into them. They're cute, comfortable, and causeworthy! Click here to visit Toms website
- Samaritans Purse- They put out a catalogue each year of great and inventive ways to donate items to those in need all around the world-with little effort to yourself! As I was looking through the catalogue I told Manny we were going to buy a goat for a family. He was both confused and angry! Click here to visit Samaritan's Purse gift catalogue website.
Vetrans Day & Spiritual Fight Club
A short video from the History Channel
Today we recognize Veterans Day and the sacrifices made by those who served our country in war.
Presently, we are all at war against our sinful flesh. I read the following statement on a blog I came across yesterday, and it resonated a truth about mans sin state.
A child allowed to live in flesh, will become controlled by flesh.
We must not allow the flesh to controll us. We must "fight" and "put to death" our sin.
"Fight the good fight of faith" (1 Tim 6:12)
"For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live" (Rom 8:13)
How do we "fight" and "put to death" our sin? I like the Fight Club terminology Jonathan Dodson from Acts 29 Network uses.
The Three Rules of Fight Club
1) Know Your Sin.
The first rule of Fight Club is "Know your sin." If we don't know our opponent, how will we beat him? We must become well-acquainted with the areas in our lives where the flesh gets the best of us, where we are prone to sin.
2) Fight Your Sin.
The second rule of Fight Club is "Fight your sin." Once we know our sin, we know where to strike. The challenge then is to actually strike, to beat up our flesh.
3) Trust Your Savior.
The third rule of Fight Club is "Trust Your Savior." How do we fight? We fight, not in our own strength but with the strength of the Spirit. One day the fight will be over. Faith will become sight. Our image will be perfectly aligned with Christ's image. We will no longer know our sin, fight our sin, or struggle to trust our Savior. But until then, may God grant us his sovereign grace to fight the good fight of faith, for our joy and his eternal glory.
-Johnathan Dodson
So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.
Romans 6:11-13
Houston, Halloween, The Reformation
A couple weekends ago we traveled to Houston to visit Brady's brother Rick and his family. It had been a year since we last all got together, so the visit was much needed. We enjoyed the time with family and introducing Manny to his uncle, aunt, and 3 cousins. While in Houston, we went to the science museum, the zoo, and a major league soccer game. It was a fun time!
This past week Manny's soccer team played in the post season tournament (his team was seeded #1). On Thursday night we were vying for a spot in the championship game and lost to the #4 seed. It was a tough loss, which was seen in the faces of some crying 7 year olds.
We celebrated my Sister's and Papaw's birthdays this past Saturday, and then headed back home for Halloween. Manny dressed up as a muscled-up police man and sat out on the front porch playing the candy police to all those trick or treating. We finished out the night by roasting marshmallows.
October 31st also commemorates the often overlooked start of the Protestant Reformation. In 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenberg, Germany. Luther was confronting the religious faux pas of the Roman Catholic Church, and rediscovering the doctrine of justification—salvation by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. Those of us from a Protestant faith are grateful beneficiaries of this man's boldness for the truth.To read more about Luther and the Reformation click here.
Happy Birthday Brady, Santa Made Me Do It, & Pics.
Last Thursday we celebrated my sweet husbands 30th Birthday! To soften the blow of turning 30, I thought a gift from his childhood (to remind him of younger days) would be nice. So we got him a retro nintendo game console, complete with some favorite past games. The gift was a hit, as Manny pointed out while I was tucking him in bed, "Mommy, Daddy still is playing. He love his present!"
Side note: Manny might possibly be the worst at video games ever. It's quite painful to watch!
That cupcake is on fire!
"They still make these?"
Mario
His introduction to video games was quite entertaining!Brady and I enjoyed a night away in New Orleans for his birthday. On the way down we stopped at Canjun Encounters for a swamp tour- Brady holds a childlike fascination for alligators.
Enjoying a beignet at Cafe Du Monde!
The Honey Island Swamp
A Playful Baby GatorAnother Manny-ism:
I've heard of blaming satan for alot of things, but schoolwork is a new one. The is an excerpt from our classtime last week.
(Manny is reading a problem from flash cards and providing the answers.)
Manny: one plus four equals.... three
Mommy: No
Manny: OH!
(Note: we start over and redo all the flashcards when one is missed.)
Manny: Mommy wait...I have something to say. When I am reading I am thinking five, but Santa (yes we are still confusing our jolly friend with our spiritual enemy) make me say three.
Oh how early the blame game does start!
MORE PICS
School supplies purchased with donations in Ghana last week for Manny's orphange.
Manny finally warming up to Maggie. 
After another Victory.
On Southern's campus for the Homecoming Game.
The soccer showdown between Manny and Parker. Lucky for Manny he got on really good team...Parker didn't get so lucky!
Good News From Ghana & The Hard Earned Dollar
(Christen) For those of you who have followed our journey on the blog, you'll remember that we raised some money (while in Ghana) from generous friends and family back home. We have used small amounts of the donations to meet various needs at the orphange Manny came from. The majority of the money has been sitting in a fund waiting for an appropriate need. We decided last week to give a good portion of the money to the orphanage we visited in Tema. We recieved the following email from the orphange directors this week.
Dear Brady and Christen,
I just wanted to let you know that we did receive the transfer today. Thank you so much for your gift. You know, we do serve an amazing God...we are going to be moving the end of October and we have to rent a new house...in Ghana they make us pay rent 1 year in advance...we are renting two houses with rent due on both of the houses...the house that we are renting for the Freedom Center is 350GHC per month...this comes to exactly $3000 for the year...your gift is exactly what we need for the rent of the house...God is so good!!!
Thank you so much!
Stacy
Dear Brady and Christen,
I just wanted to let you know that we did receive the transfer today. Thank you so much for your gift. You know, we do serve an amazing God...we are going to be moving the end of October and we have to rent a new house...in Ghana they make us pay rent 1 year in advance...we are renting two houses with rent due on both of the houses...the house that we are renting for the Freedom Center is 350GHC per month...this comes to exactly $3000 for the year...your gift is exactly what we need for the rent of the house...God is so good!!!
Thank you so much!
Stacy
God is good indeed!
Speaking of money...our little Ghanaian has been learning the value of the hard earned dollar (well not too hard in his case!) After about a week of being in America, he very quickly came to the conclusion that America was about getting gifts. WRONG! He has been asking for a bicycle since we met him, so we thought it a good idea to let him earn some money and buy it himself. He has earned stickers (which equates to money) by having a good attitude and working hard in school, keeping his room tidy and his things put away (which wasn't a chore for this neat freak!), telling what he learned in church (He is still working on this one-it's tough to remember! Ha!), behaving in a Christ-like manner, and scoring goals/touchdowns in his games (I couldn't refuse spurring on atheletic achievement!) This weekend he finally had enough to purchase his bike! He clearly has had some past experience on a bike and rides like a pro already!
School, Games, & Smelling like a 'White Lady'?
(Christen)The past week provided more opportunities learn and try new things for Manny. We had our first soccer and flag football games. Manny had a blast. He scored both a soccer goal and a touchdown!
We also had our second visit to the Doctor. Manny received 6 shots and had blood drawn. He was very brave and his eyes only watered a bit. While in the exam room waiting for the doctor, Manny, being a typical 7 year old was smelling my arm, and he informed me "Mommy you smell like white lady!" For those of you curious as to what a white lady smells like, I was told it is a combination of water, soap, and lotion!
Our schooling continues to go well. I talked with Manny about the possibility of going to a school next year and he seemed appalled by the thought! Although I'm quite confident he would love it. We've certainly not made any decisions on this yet, and plan to make our schooling decisions year by year.
A Few Pics as Promised!
Last week we introduced the projector to help with learning.
As you can see, Manny was quite happy about it!
Showboating as he scores his first touchdown :)
We also had our second visit to the Doctor. Manny received 6 shots and had blood drawn. He was very brave and his eyes only watered a bit. While in the exam room waiting for the doctor, Manny, being a typical 7 year old was smelling my arm, and he informed me "Mommy you smell like white lady!" For those of you curious as to what a white lady smells like, I was told it is a combination of water, soap, and lotion!
Our schooling continues to go well. I talked with Manny about the possibility of going to a school next year and he seemed appalled by the thought! Although I'm quite confident he would love it. We've certainly not made any decisions on this yet, and plan to make our schooling decisions year by year.
A Few Pics as Promised!
Last week we introduced the projector to help with learning.
As you can see, Manny was quite happy about it!
Papa and Manny
Showboating as he scores his first touchdown :)
I love his face in this one- Pure Excitement!
Playing a little soccer
Catching his breath
Papa, Parker, and Manny
At the USM game!
Daddy and Manny:)
Adjusting Well
This is the picture that started it all. Manny's photo was posted on a website along with hundreds of other children waiting to be adopted. We were undecided on where to adopt from before we saw this picture; after, it became a question of 'how fast can we get to him?' Doesn't that sweet little face just melt your heart!
For those of you still interested, I plan on keeping the blog up for a little while. I didn't intend on doing this, however, our friends and family living elsewhere have requested I do, so that they may also stay"involved". So for all three of you out there still reading- Enjoy!:)
Manny update:
This kid loves America. He reminds me everyday! He also likes to remind that he doesn't want to live in Ghana anymore by stating, "No more Ghana for me!"
The adjustment has been great! Probably because we were with him for so long in Africa. Another fun fact about him is that he is a neat freak. He happily puts his toys away when done playing, and he even gets annoyed when others don't!
He has really taken a liking to sports- particularly tennis. If we are around a tv with tennis on he will totally zone out for like an hour! In light of his instant love for the sport, I have been taking him to group tennis lessons at the raquet club. We have also begun playing early in the morning before we start school.
Speaking of school, he continues to amaze me with his ability to absorb everything. He is very smart, can focus for long periods of time, and catches on very quickly. His vocabulary and speach continue to improve daily, and he has even begun reading basic words this week!
We had our first post placement meeting with our social worker last weekend. It went very well- as expected!
We are looking forward to the weekend. Manny has his first soccer game tomorrow. We will also be attending the local college football game! Fun! Pics to follow.
Giving God His due Glory!
(Christen) Now that we have been home a few weeks I've been reflecting on our time in Ghana. One of the things I feel I learned (or saw for that matter) was God displaying his awesome power. Allow me to elaborate.
As the weeks began to add up quickly, discouragement began to grow. Towards the end of the process we were very uncertain as to whether or not we would actually be allowed to bring Manny home to America. This didn't have anything to do with Manny's personal case per se, but rather, the many adoption cases from the same orphanage coming through the embassy at one time. There have been plenty of international adoption cases where families are awarded guardenship of a child through the foreign country's court, only to find that the US Embassy never allows the child to come home with the adoptive parents. What a perdicament that is! Our thought process was to cross each bridge as it came; and boy am I glad that one never did!
At some point, we began to question if God's plan for our lives was to even have Manny as our son. Essentially, we were mentally brought to the point where we knew nothing short of a miracle from God (seriously) would allow this adoption to happen. We didn't elaborate on all the details of the cases on the blog, but the picture that the Embassy painted was bleak.
Through it all, we were prayerful that God would bring about the outcome that would bring Him the most glory. Whether that be a two month time-frame, a two year time-frame, or never.
In the end, the Almighty (aka GOD) chose to display just how powerful and awesome He is by granting our adoption, against all odds, in a very short two month time frame (nine months total from our orginal decision date last November- how ironic:)!). He did all of this so that we might realize what a mighty God we serve and give Him His due glory.
More Pics from Home:)
As the weeks began to add up quickly, discouragement began to grow. Towards the end of the process we were very uncertain as to whether or not we would actually be allowed to bring Manny home to America. This didn't have anything to do with Manny's personal case per se, but rather, the many adoption cases from the same orphanage coming through the embassy at one time. There have been plenty of international adoption cases where families are awarded guardenship of a child through the foreign country's court, only to find that the US Embassy never allows the child to come home with the adoptive parents. What a perdicament that is! Our thought process was to cross each bridge as it came; and boy am I glad that one never did!
At some point, we began to question if God's plan for our lives was to even have Manny as our son. Essentially, we were mentally brought to the point where we knew nothing short of a miracle from God (seriously) would allow this adoption to happen. We didn't elaborate on all the details of the cases on the blog, but the picture that the Embassy painted was bleak.
Through it all, we were prayerful that God would bring about the outcome that would bring Him the most glory. Whether that be a two month time-frame, a two year time-frame, or never.
In the end, the Almighty (aka GOD) chose to display just how powerful and awesome He is by granting our adoption, against all odds, in a very short two month time frame (nine months total from our orginal decision date last November- how ironic:)!). He did all of this so that we might realize what a mighty God we serve and give Him His due glory.
More Pics from Home:)
